How do you tell a friend something that is not easy to tell them?  This can be especially tricky as a parent.  You want to correct your children – you want to confront sin; however, you struggle with the guilt of knowing that you fell into the same sin you’re trying to correct.  There is a faint (well, sometimes not faint at all) voice that says – “you are a hypocrite if you correct them for something you did yourself.  Just who do you think you are, Jesus?”

I believe that this struggle is more common than we want to admit; however, it must be over come.  First place is to acknowledge our own failings, brokenness and sinfulness.  Get over ourselves and realize – yeah, I am not perfect and also realize everyone knows it.  Secondly, despite how I feel about an issue (failing or sin) – it is in the best interests of my friend/child to address the issue.  I am helping no one, least of all them, by ignoring the issue because of my own history – that’s actually a very selfish way to look at things.  I know, because I have been there (being selfish).

No two people are completely alike.  We all have histories and stories that have shaped us and made us into who we are and into who we are continuing to become.  It is best to take time to read someone’s history – listen to their stories and understand them.  This presupposes that you care enough, not only about whatever the issue at hand is but even more about the person.

By taking time to read and understand a person, you show them respect.  No one wants to be impersonally corrected on any issue.  And let’s get this straight, we want to do more than straighten out people – we want to help and get people on a path of healing and growth.  If you have ever had one of those experiences in which someone dumps a load of bricks onto you (heaps shame) and pulls away saying that they only did it because they love you – you know what I mean.  I am not sure what that is; however, I am pretty sure it ain’t love!

When you read a person, speak to them and help them to hear you.  Ask lots of questions with a humble attitude and wait for answers.  After all, you may be wrong.  Many people don’t realize how their actions and/or words are sinful on their own – someone has to graciously show them.  This must be done with the utmost humility – because, but for the grace of God – you would be the one with the issue.

Offer assistance.  For the life of me, I can not understand how someone would point out a sin or issue and then leave someone to sort it out on their own.  Again, I reference the load of bricks.  That just isn’t love.  Walk with the person – offer to read Scripture, a book or study a combination of both.  Plan ahead to invest this sort of time helping a brother or sister.

If the matter is of a more serious nature, offer to go to a Pastor with them.  Don’t simply say, “now go see Pastor.”  Go with them – walk that distance with them because it is a lonely walk and shame can become an unbearable burden.  We must; we must help carry these burdens.

To say we love and allow the people we love to fall off an abyss into sin is to lie.  We have to stand behind our words with actions of love; otherwise, we say to the starving man – “be warm and filled” and do nothing.

I tell you, people are worth the read – you will learn more about yourself, the grace of God and others when you take the time to listen to their stories and get to know them.  This is so important before you move into their lives to correct them.  Some have said, “you need to earn the right to be heard.”